‍in the first person

‍The spiritual journey is about deepening into one’s essence and expanding into a consciousness which is greater than that of the individual. However, after enlightenment, the personal aspect continues to exist, albeit with less emphasis. In this blog, I (Andy – also known as Anandi) am exploring the human side of life from this personal perspective.

A flower.

photo by Premamui

10/03/2013

This afternoon I found myself in the bliss of post-coital slumber with a lover, a working girl for whom I am a regular client. As we lay there resting I could feel my mind hovering in a delightful state, right at the boundary of wake and sleep. Then came one of those delicious moments of spontaneous meditation. I was gazing at her hair, a lock of which had draped itself over her shoulder. And amongst this lock, my eyes alighted upon a single hair.


As I drank in the sight of the strand of hair, some curious things happened in the consciousness. Firstly, the hair appeared utterly beautiful, a beauty beyond measure, and somehow larger than life. Then as I continued to gaze, with not a thought in the mind, there came the feeling, the knowing without words, that all the world was here, in this one strand of hair.


From that timeless moment came memories of a poem. With apologies to William Blake:


To see a world in a strand of hair,

And a heaven in a wild flower,

Hold infinity in the palm of your hand,

And eternity in an hour.

10/02/2013

The other day I saw a small child, not more than three years old, standing in front of an ATM (cash dispensing machine). She was standing on tip-toe and reaching up. In her hand was a folded bank note, which she was trying to feed into the slot intended for a bank card. My heart melted upon seeing such innocence.


Sometimes I would love to see the world through the eyes of a child. As grown ups, we like to think that we know it all, that we have a logical, rational understanding of the world. But in a way, the child’s view is more coherent.


After all, why is it that pieces of paper come out of a machine but don’t go into it? What is the difference between the plastic that goes in and the paper that comes out? And why do some pieces of paper get crumpled up and discarded, whilst others are neatly stashed away in a wallet?


Over the millennia, we have constructed hugely complex systems of social interaction. These systems often rely on us all agreeing, implicitly, to assign arbitrary values to things. There is nothing wrong in that. However, it is salutary to be reminded, once in a while, by a small child, that it is all arbitrary. These manmade artefacts and protocols have a certain utility but they are not what is really important.


Thank you, small child!

02/01/2013

I’ve just received a Thai massage from an innocuous looking masseuse. She asked at the outset whether I would like gentle, medium or strong and I, in my naivete, opted for strong. It was a decision I was to spend most of the following hour regretting, as she trod, pummelled and racked her way over my body.


A while into the massage, I noticed that the pain was proportional to my resistance. Where the muscles were relaxed, things were relatively bearable. Where there was chronic tension in a muscle, on the other hand, it was truly excruciating as a knee or elbow or foot kneaded it into submission.


I write all this because it seems to me that life is rather like this Thai massage. When we do not resist the flow of life, when we melt and meld to life’s ever-changing contours, there is no suffering. But when we are stiff with resistance, rigid in our beliefs about the way things should be, the suffering can be intense. So let’s abandon ourselves to life; for otherwise, existence will beat us into submission as uncompromisingly as the masseuse worked on my body.


And now that the massage is over, everything feels wonderful!

01/01/2013

A dear friend sent me the cartoon shown above (I don’t know where she found it or who had drawn it). My friend, who knows me well, called it “Andy arriving on Earth.” It seems very fitting to me!


We humans love to think that we are the ultimate form of life, the master species, better than all others. This is arrogance and is born of a vast ignorance. We assume that because we have developed the abilities to manipulate and destroy other species more than any other species has, that makes us better.


What we seem to be painfully slow at realising is that all of life is inter-related and inter-dependent. Putting one part above another creates imbalance, as well as being patently absurd.


Yes, I would hug a tree first because trees are simple and open and much wiser than us humans, and their love is unconditional. We have much to learn from them.


Happy New Year!

22/09/2012

On the day of the equinox, the day and night are perfectly balanced. And so, today, I am reminded that balance in all aspects of life is a healthy way to be in the world. This is the basis of Gautam Buddha’s teaching of the “middle way”.


The challenge of remaining balanced is, for me, particularly strong during this period of my life. Working here in Kuwait, helping to extract oil from the world’s second largest oil field, is stimulating to the mind and fulfilling to the bank account. However, I feel to maintain connection with my friends from Western and Indian spiritual circles. This also helps me to be present to my own spiritual essence.


At the moment, this balancing act involves rather more airports and flights than I would normally wish for. There goes that oil I’m helping to extract!


The theme of balance also reminds me that the book The Divine Dance in the Sacred Landscape of Britain, by Frances Lewis and Adelina Abad-Pedrosa, has been published.

06/08/2012

If you have followed the teachings on this website, you will know that there is something of a pagan in me. And as with all pagans, the sun is very important to me. Every day I have the awareness of how dependent we all are on the energy of the sun, without which there would be no life here on Earth. Furthermore, my mood is linked to the weather, above all else. On sunny days I am happy, on cloudy days subdued.


For a few years now, I have offered gratitude and encouragement to the sun with a little puja, or ritual at sunrise:


Thank you Sun, for coming to warm and light this day;

Please do so splendidly, if you will.


And at sunset:


Thank you Sun, for warming and lighting this day (so splendidly);

Please come again tomorrow, if you will.


I guess the energy in these little ceremonies must have built up somewhere in the universe because now I find myself living in a part of the world where the sun shines almost every day, where it almost never rains, and where the summer temperatures often reach 50C. Perhaps it is time I began to do pujas for clouds and rain!

18/11/2011

If you are a regular visitor to this website, you might have noticed that things have gone rather quiet over the last few weeks. The reason is simple: I woke up one morning and there was no longer any energy in me for adding material to the site. After recording and publishing hundreds of teachings here, that flow of creative energy disappeared as suddenly and mysteriously as it had arisen, a year ago.


I have no idea whether this is a little hiatus – no more than a temporary pause – or a conclusion to these teachings. Has my quietus come in this regard? I know not.


For now, I shall tidy up the site a little and leave it in a dormant state. If you have not yet done so, I encourage you to listen to all the audio teachings: they carry more energy than this blog.


Above all, enjoy your journey.