‍in the first person

‍The spiritual journey is about deepening into one’s essence and expanding into a consciousness which is greater than that of the individual. However, after enlightenment, the personal aspect continues to exist, albeit with less emphasis. In this blog, I (Andy – also known as Anandi) am exploring the human side of life from this personal perspective.

A flower.

photo by Premamui

02/05/2011

Is god male or female? The big monotheistic religions use male language: god is He, not She.


Of course, god is beyond sex, or rather, before sex. He or She is not of the dualistic world. The English language, though, does not leave us many options. God could be an ‘It’, which would probably be the most accurate word to use. Can we revere It though? Can we feel the sublime beauty in It? Can we worship It? Can we surrender to It?


No, it seems we have to perceive god somewhat in our own image. Even if we don’t go as far as an old man with a big grey beard, sitting in the clouds, still we seem to need to think of god as having some rather human characteristics. Are those characteristics those of a father? Or are they more those of a mother?


Many feel god as a protector and and as a mentor, someone to turn to in times of need, for guidance, for spiritual assistance. These attributes could be seen as masculine, the protection of a virile young man combined with the wisdom of an old man. But since when has wisdom been restricted to men? And which mother does not protect her children?


My feeling is that, if god has to be addressed as He or She, then She is the more appropriate term. For is it not in the womb of She that we have come into being? Indeed, do we not actually abide there now, even whilst we feel ourselves to be walking freely on this beautiful Earth? Are we not nourished throughout our life, by an umbilical cord that is never cut? Is not our very lifeblood infused with Her goodness, in the great placenta from which life itself flows?

30/04/2011

I have just been for a walk through some of the fields surrounding the village of Cumnor, here in Oxfordshire. The sun is shining and a gentle breeze is blowing. Walking in this gentle landscape, fertile in its spring season, the feeling that all is well in the world came to me...


How sad it is when we lose that feeling, the feeling that all is well. And how easily we allow it to be crushed, by watching the endless stream of negative news on television and reading the same ugliness in the newspapers.


Here is the news from the footpaths around Cumnor today: The crops are growing healthily. The trees are alive with fresh new leaves. The human beings are, without exception, smiling and saying hello in a friendly way. The birds are chirping exceedingly merrily. The neighbour’s cat, though, did look rather guilty when I came round the corner, so it might have been up to no good. Apart from that, everything is lovely.


And this loveliness is not a neutral thing. It is more than just the absence of negativity. It is glorious. Watching the verdant leaves fluttering in the wind, the thoughts subside and give way to the feeling: Glory be!

29/04/2011

As I write this, a couple of people whom I have never met are about to marry. I guess that it is happening every day, but this couple are celebrities, which means that the mass consciousness of humanity has somehow become obsessed with their lives. And as the bridegroom happens to be a prince, their wedding represents the ultimate in the romantic dream. It is but a dream though...


What does it mean when two people promise to love each other? Love is not something which one has any control over. It can come. It can go. To make a promise about how long it is going to last shows a complete misunderstanding of love. Indeed, to make such a promise is to implicitly claim control over love. Ironically, that is the most unromantic thing to do. A true romantic can but live in the emotions of the moment and at best have hopes, have trust in the future.


Promises, though... promises come from those who are insecure within themselves, who have not yet met god, who know not the beauty of the ocean depths. And those that would hear such promises, they too have not yet discovered the mystery of life, they too are grasping at straws.


Forget promises, especially promises of love. Love comes by grace. When it is flowing in the heart, let us rejoice. And when it is absent, let one sit silently, alone in the desert, until it returns. But let us not pretend to be in control of love. Let us not make promises of love.

21/04/2011

Here it is at last. What you’ve been waiting for all these months: My secret chai recipe! Forget meditation and years of celibacy locked away in a monastery; drinking chai is the surest way to enlightenment.


Peel and finely chop a generous lump of root ginger.

Crush half a dozen fresh green cardamom pods.

Throw in four or five cloves.

Break some cinnamon  sticks.

Put all of the above into a saucepan with a pint of water and bring to the boil.

Simmer for five or ten minutes.

Stir in some jaggery to taste.

Add a heaped dessert spoonful of large leaf Assam tea.

Add a teaspoon of broken tea leaves for body and colour.

Simmer for a minute.

Take off the heat and add four heaped dessert spoons of milk powder.

(If using fresh milk, apply a little more heat to re-warm the chai.)

Allow a few more minutes of passive brewing, without heat.

Strain into your favourite mug or chai bowl.

Drink.


As far as I know, jaggery is only available in India. You can use sugar instead, to sweeten the tea, but somehow it is not quite the same...


Anyway, enjoy your chai!

16/04/2011

I have travelled from the mountains of Himachal Pradesh to the ocean at Goa. With it, the whole feel of things has changed. The cool, crisp clarity of the mountains has become the soft, warm fuzziness of the tropical beach life. It is like moving from the masculine to the feminine. The mountain energy is full of a deep silence. Here in the heat, everything is melting, oozing and luscious.


Plunging into the warm ocean, the feeling of abandonment comes easily. Floating, bobbing about in the waves, watching the eagles as they glide effortlessly in the sea breeze where it rises against the cliff, one can also become effortless. In the mountains, one can penetrate into the very heart of stillness and silence. Here one merely melts into all that is...

10/04/2011

Here in Himachal Pradesh, it is the time of the ladybirds (ladybug in American English). There are many of them. And they are such beautiful little creatures.


How likely is it that ladybirds have come into existence? Of course, we know that they have, so it might seem a rather strange question. Think about it though. If you had never seen a ladybird, nor heard of them, would you ever imagine such a beetle? If a child drew a picture of one, we would exclaim that she has a vivid imagination.


This is the beauty of life. It creates the most unlikely of beings; and such beautiful ones!


At this point, the scientists amongst us will be proudly quoting Darwin’s theory on the origin of species. Have you noticed though, that the theory only works in retrospect? Given an existing species, one can dream up how its features have given it some survival advantage. Looking forwards, though, it is impossible to predict what nature will create.


All this applies not only to ladybirds and other species, but to individual beings too. Who amongst us can predict the exact shape an individual tree will grow to be? Isn’t life rich and wonderful for all this unpredictable diversity?


Each if us humans, too, grows to be a unique being, quite unpredictable at the outset. So we can also ask of ourself, how likely am I? The answer, of course, is that each of us is extremely unlikely. Yet here we are, each of us a beautiful, unique being, adding to the rich diversity of life.

05/04/2011

I might be wishing you a happy new year on a number of days in the year: There is the winter solstice, after which the hours of daylight increase in the northern hemisphere; The Gregorian Calendar seems to have become a de facto standard with a new year starting on the 1st of January; Rosh Hashanah, sometime in September, is the Jewish new year, if I’ve understood correctly; The Chinese have a new year of their own and doubtlessly there are many others.


In the UK, a new financial year starts on the 5th of April, so Happy New Financial Year!


Most of us are totally obsessed with money, so let’s celebrate this occasion! We should have fireworks and dancing and wild parties running through the night.


Of course we don’t celebrate. And the reason is that we are rather ashamed of our obsession with money. It seems so superficial. It is so superficial. But if we are obsessed with it, if we are living superficially, we should admit it and make the most of it. In this respect, the financiers in the City of London are more honest than most of us.


Amongst spiritual seekers, money is something of a dirty word. When we break free of the obsession with money, we invariably swing to the opposite extreme. Anything to do with money is seen as evil, loathsome.


Ironically, though, this aversion to all things financial is just as much of an obsession as that of people who are yet greedy for money. We are still obsessed with money but now in a negative way, with the energy of repulsion rather than attraction. We are still living under the spell of money.


To really break free of this emotional entanglement with money, it needs to lose its significance altogether. Then we can relax about it. Money can be felt neutrally, as a useful de facto standard helping social exchange of energy, just as a de facto standard calendar helps us arrange social meetings.


Until we reach such a relaxed attitude to money, though, let’s celebrate: Happy New Financial Year!