I’ve just spent an hour or so surfing with a body board – it’s a great sensation, being picked up and carried by a wave, without any real effort by oneself.
I noticed that different people seem to adopt different tactics when surfing. Some stay in the shallows and get a little ride on the remnants of each wave as the surf comes past. Some go further out but also try to ride everything that comes their way. Others go far out and bob about in the water for ages, waiting for the big one.
It struck me that this is indicative of how we live our lives. Do we play it safe and take a little nibble of the things life offers us, never getting out of our depth? Or do we take more of a risk and try to live it all more fully? Or do we go to the other extreme, and let all of life’s offerings pass us by, as we wait for the perfect one, the big one?
This is especially true with regard to intimate relationships. It is easy to play it safe, stay in the shallows and take a little nibble every now and then, without risking anything. It’s much more demanding, but also more rewarding, to wade in deeper and get more involved in relationships, risking being hurt in the process. And then there is the approach of waiting for the big one – saying no to every potential relationship as the opportunity arises, waiting for the right person to come into one’s life. This last strategy is a huge gamble. I know one woman, now in her sixties, who has never had sex, because she was always waiting for mr. right, who has never materialised, at least not yet. And if the big one does show up, one is still at risk of being hurt. In fact that risk is much greater because one has missed so many opportunities to gain experience in the art of relating, which is not easy for anyone. Despite all that, all our fairy tales promote the idea of the big one – it has endless appeal for our romantic sentimentality.
In case you are wondering, this is how the surfing went for me today. Mostly I waded out to the middle ground, catching the medium sized waves as they were breaking and also riding the surf of the larger waves, after they had broken. I enjoyed that for about an hour, and then the urge came to wait for the big one. So I swam out, beyond the point where even the large waves were breaking, and I waited. Amazingly, I didn’t have to wait long. After just a few minutes, I saw a huge swell coming in. Sure enough, it built to a massive wave. My last thought was, ‘If this goes wrong, it’s really going to hurt.’ Then all thinking stopped for a while, as I was picked up and thrust forward, just as the wave broke in a crazy, violent manner. Everything went white and all I could do for a few seconds was cling on to the body board and hope for the best. Luckily, I emerged at the front of the surf, moving fast, and rode it all the way till it deposited me on the beach. What a ride!
