We sometimes come across the phrase ‘alpha male’ but have you ever wondered how things are for all the beta males, the ones who didn’t quite make it into the alpha position? Well, this one is spending a sleepless night listening to the sound of the waves breaking on the shore, here in Goa.
I had been spending days gently wooing an ex-lover, content enough as we got to know each other again at a relaxed pace. When I met her yesterday her energy had changed: she was ovulating and with that she was radiant, feeling positive about life. She was sexily dressed and thoroughly in her femininity. I was overjoyed, thinking our time had come and that my patience had paid off. Then, after a flirtatious lunch, she declared that one of her other lovers was coming to visit. I felt my joy turn to sadness and then that familiar pain in the heart...
And so it transpired. Alpha male rode into town on his motorbike. They spent the afternoon making love. He rode out.
I met her again in the evening. She was relaxed and happy. She talked about being open to spending the night with me, that maybe she would even want to make love with me as well. But it was not to be. I could see that she was thoroughly sated. A beta male with an aching heart was not going to do anything for her.
Lying here alone I realise that with regard to sex, as with enlightenment, a near-miss counts for nothing.
Time to dig out the meditation stool and enjoy the sound of those waves!
