many things drop away

Many things drop away with enlightenment

Remember that you are basically enlightened. It's just that that enlightenment has been covered up with so much other stuff that you are no longer in touch with it. So the process of becoming enlightened is really one of other things dropping away. It's a process of removal, a negative process in that sense. Nothing need be added. Just some things need to be taken away. And I'm going to mention a few of the things that drop away, in this little talk.

One thing that drops away is ambition. We tend to go through life with a lot of goals, and sometimes these can be very grandiose, sometimes they are long term ambitions, to achieve something great, to be someone important. And then there are smaller goals, more modest ambitions, to own one's own home, or get a particular job, or to have a family. And these sort of goals, both big and small, help to sustain the sense of oneself, having a purpose. And as enlightenment is essentially the removal of the sense of self, along with that change, all these ambitions drop away. Now it might still happen that you become famous, or get that job, or have a family, or whatever. Those things may or may not happen. But the feeling of ambition, that drive, drops away.

Ambitions are to do with the future. And normally we also have thoughts and feelings about the past, in particular regrets for things that we did but wish we had not done, or opportunities that we missed. And regrets about the past are something else that drop away with enlightenment. There's a great sense that everything is just fine, just perfect, past and present. So those regrets, which ordinarily are also helping to sustain the sense of self, those regrets simply melt away when we are enlightened, and no new regrets form. It somehow becomes impossible for that to happen.

Another psychological attribute that disappears is pride. Normally, if we feel we've achieved something that we wanted to achieve, we feel pride, and again this is very much to do with the sense of self, me, I did this, and we puff ourselves up. Our ego is boosted. But of course the ego is that sense of self again, and with enlightenment that's dropped away. So without it there is no sense of pride. There's no feeling, in fact, that I did this, I achieved this. There's no I in it. Things happen, but they happen through us. It's all existence dancing with itself. And we are just a part of that play. It is not oneself that is doing things, achieving things. So that pride no longer arises.

And similarly opposite feelings, negative feelings about oneself, feelings of failure, also do not arise. Normally, if people feel they should be achieving something and they don't, there is a sense of failure. I am a failure. I am inadequate. And those feelings also drop away when we become enlightened, for the same reason that we do not feel pride. It is not I that am doing these things. It is not I that am achieving or failing to achieve. So one comes to have a sense of equanimity about oneself, a neutral feeling. There's nothing wrong in me. And there's nothing particularly great about me either. I am as I am. And even that is changing from moment to moment.

Another thing that goes away with enlightenment is the feeling that something is a problem. A problem is a certain mental attitude towards something in the world. It's our own attitude. It's a mental formation. It's not really that much to do with the outside circumstances. It's a certain characteristic of the mind, to see things as problematic, and then the mind can get on with trying to find a solution to the problem. Or, more often, whinge about it a lot, complain, and feel a bit victimised. All of this drops away as well. We no longer regard circumstances as a problem. We don't see things as something needing to be solved or changed. And with this, of course, there comes a great peace. Before enlightenment, most people are rather ill at ease, at least some of the time, usually most of the time. And it's only when that problem seeking mind becomes quiet that that ill at ease feeling can drop away.

Another thing that tends to go with enlightenment is a resistance to paradox. Our rational mind likes things to be black or white, and will usually argue vehemently in favour of one or the other, rejecting one side and accepting only the other. It feels nice and clean that way. This is good that is bad. The whole dualistic perspective on existence is normally there. But with enlightenment something strange happens: that all turns upside down, and anything that is paradoxical, self contradictory, suddenly makes sense and feels right, truthful. And conversely those things which are apparently black or white, arouse a sort of suspicion, if that's the right word. We intuitively know that we are only seeing half the picture, that something is missing. It's like hearing only one side of a story. Of course, there's another side to it. And unless we're seeing both sides of the picture, we're missing something. So with enlightenment we come to dwell in a paradoxical existence. And we become very comfortable with that. That's the way things actually are – opposites arising together, like fundamental particles of physics. That's the way life is. If there is good, there is also bad. If there is black, there is also white. These things come together, and it is not that one side is somehow more truthful than the other, or that one half could even potentially exist without the other. It's fundamental that they are here together, or not at all.

Another thing that drops away with enlightenment are questions arising in the mind. I'm not talking about simple questions like what time does the train leave? Of course, the thinking mind will still ask such practical questions. But the deep questions: who am I? What's my place in existence? What is the meaning of life? Is there a god? These deep questions melt away with enlightenment, and it is very curious. The feeling, as a felt sense in the body, is as if these questions have been answered, but they've not been answered, not in words. There's no way you could put into words what has happened. But suddenly everything in life feels right, including my place in it. This absence of questions of such a nature is a key indicator of enlightenment. Even the question am I enlightened does not arise. It's all just gone, gone, gone.

These are just a few of the things that drop away when we become enlightened. There are many others, but this is enough to be going on with.