Until one can feel fulfilled when one is alone, there is more work to be done

We distract ourselves. We distract ourselves from reality and we distract ourselves from this inner search for who we really are. And this is the most important work, for if we do not know ourself, then our view of the rest of the world will be distorted. Everything which we suppress and hide about ourself, we will begin to see on the outside. Our shadow will be seen in the shadows of the outer world. Whilst we deny some aspects of ourself, those aspects which we feel to be negative or undesirable, we will at the same time be exaggerating other aspects. We will feel an attachment to those aspects which we feel to be positive or desirable. We will talk them up. We will insist that they are true.

All of this comes up when relating to other people, and so relationship, in the broad sense of the word, is an opportunity for us to see the games we play. But often we do not see them. They are totally unconscious. That is why being alone can be an even more significant opportunity. For during those times when we are alone, there is nobody else for us to project our negative aspects onto and there is nobody there for us to convince of our positive aspects. So in a way, when we are alone, we are more in a situation of being forced to be honest with ourself. At least, the games of deception have no outer meaning.

The strange thing is that before enlightenment, the games of deception are essential. Our ego depends on self-deception and on the deception of others. The whole game is a game of falsity, of untruth. When we are alone, the game cannot be played. At least, not with any real energy. This is why many people struggle to be alone. They come face to face with themself and they don’t like what they see. Many people feel loneliness – a negative feeling when they are alone, a feeling that something is missing. Of course that feeling of something missing is the projection of a feeling that there is something missing on the inside, that I am not complete. It is in this sense that we can say that unless one is fulfilled, feeling fulfilled, when one is alone, then the journey is not yet over. We have not yet found our essence, that part in us which is always complete, where there is nothing lacking: our true nature. So spend some time alone, and see. If you feel lonely, if you feel that there is something missing when you are alone, then there is more work to be done.