freedom and sex

We can only be free when we are at ease with our sexual energy

Sex is one of the most important subjects on the spiritual journey. We are a sexual species. We have sexual energy within us, whether we like it or not. Whether we express it or not, that sexual energy arises. And it’s strong. It demands our attention. And what do we do next, when that sexual energy does arise?

We can deny it, which might happen if we feel that it is bad, wrong. And in some societies there is a very strong conditioning, going back thousands of years, that sexual desire is wrong. And I say to you no, it’s not wrong, it’s entirely natural and nothing natural is wrong, nothing. It is our nature to be sexual. So denial pushes that energy into unconscious parts of our mind, from where it bursts out unpredictably, in perverted ways, distorted ways.

Some other spiritual traditions suggest transmuting that energy, changing it into so-called higher expressions of energy: to love, to meditation, to a connection with the divine. And it’s true that all forms of energy can change. Hate can turn into love. Sexual desire can turn into divine longing. But it is no higher. And whilst we put God on this pedestal, whilst we put our spiritual yearnings above sexual desire, we are still rejecting that part of us. We are still saying it is low, it is beneath us, it is wrong. And then, subtly, we are resentful of a part of who we are. We are not at ease with it. And even if today we manage to transmute that sexual energy into something else, tomorrow it will be back again and again and again. So this too, is not the way to approach our sexual energy, to be healthy, to be whole, which is the condition to meet God.

To be integrated is the way to enlightenment. And to reach that state of integration, of wholeness, we have to accept everything that is within us. Not only accept it – not grudgingly – but rejoice in it, live it, express it naturally. And this goes, above all else, for our sexual energy. It is a part of who we are. And if we can be at ease with that, if we can accept it, play with it, allow it expression in natural ways, not only will it not come out in distorted ways, in harmful ways, but it will add to our zest for life. And from that very zest, that juiciness, that celebration of all that we are, we will come to feel whole. It is only when we reject a part of who we are that we begin to fragment, that we lose our integration, our integrity. So the way back to integrity is through acceptance and rejoicing of everything that is within us.

So have a look at your sexual energy, your sexual desires, and let go of the judgements about it all. It’s a beautiful energy, so playful, so creative. And when we allow it its natural expression, then we will not only be at ease with ourselves but we will be at ease with each other, laughing, playing, and touching one another, really touching one another. Not holding back, staying separate. That is not what the sexual energy is leading us towards. It’s an energy of connection, an energy of abandonment, an energy of life. So live it to the full and be at ease with it. And this way, this way we can come to that ultimate freedom which is to be ourselves, without hesitation, without doubt, without self judgements.

Enjoy it all.