collateral damage

The real benefit of the search for enlightenment is in the collateral damage

Ordinarily we tend to approach life with a view to profit, with an eye to what we can gain from an undertaking. Even if it is only our pleasure, some passing happiness, that still is a profit that we are seeking. It tends to be the same when we embark on the search for enlightenment. We want to gain this thing, this enlightenment. It’s a profit we have in mind. But enlightenment is not like other pursuits of life. Eventually the whole search, the whole desire for enlightenment collapses, disappears. If that were all that happened, we would be back where we started, with the same miseries, the same hopes and worries. But, if we are fortunate, there is a certain collateral damage during the search for enlightenment. Our whole desiring mind can become bound up with this search. So, when the desire for enlightenment collapses, it can take with it the whole approach of the desiring mind. This is the collateral damage which is the real benefit of the spiritual journey. It is a loss, we are losing things, but of course through that loss we become clean, we become empty. That which is wiped out has been the cause of our misery, and so our misery also is lost as part of this collateral damage. And we find ourself, eventually, if we are lucky, in this state of emptiness, of cleanliness, of naturalness, without worries, without problems. There’s nothing wrong. In this state, yes, there is a certain joy of life which we did not know before. But really, we should not think of that joy as something gained. It is just the absence of the misery. So the search for enlightenment is not really about gaining anything. It is about losing that which has been making our life miserable, that which has been creating the suffering. So the real benefit of the search for enlightenment is this collateral damage, the loss incurred whilst our focus has been elsewhere. It is rather unexpected, but in the end all is beautiful.