self responsibility

I'm going to say a few words about self responsibility. This is another attitude that we need to develop in order to explore the spiritual realms. Why is this?

Mostly the spiritual journey is a subjective undertaking. We're looking into ourself. We're observing our own mind and emotions. We're exploring the nature of our own consciousness. And we are feeling ourself in relation to the outer world. These feelings, too, are subjective.

It's all inner work. And no one else can really tell us about our inner self. Other people can share their experiences. They can share their conclusions if they have any. But the spiritual journey is really undertaken alone, inside oneself, looking inward. And no one else has the authority to tell us about this inner world. We have to claim our own authority for this exploration. We have to take responsibility for ourself.

When we are babies, when we are newborns or toddlers, of course, we are totally dependent on some adults, to care for us, to provide for us, to feed us, to keep us alive. And naturally, we also imbue those adults with authority. In any case, they claim it. A parent does have authority over his or her children. It's just the way things are. As a small child, we don't have any choice but to accept that and work with it as best we can.

When we are grown up, though, we don't need to rely on the outer authority. Of course, our society is structured to continue using that archetype of the external authority. Instead of my father being the authoritarian figure, he's replaced by the teacher, the policeman, the politician, the army general – anyone who likes power in society. Society is structured around this. And again, we don't seem to have much choice but to play along with it.

Psychologically, though, we do have a choice. I'm not saying we have to start breaking all the laws, misbehaving in that sense, but our attitude towards external authority can be changed. In our own mind, we can claim, reclaim, our own authority, our own empowerment. It's not an empowerment over other people. It's an empowerment over one's own life, and more importantly, one's own truth. Effectively, we are saying, my own direct personal experience is the foundation of my truth.

And no one else can argue with that. It would be absurd to argue with that. So it's a perfectly coherent stance, this self responsibility that I'm talking about. Because the two go together, they're almost synonymous, self empowerment and self responsibility. Whilst we disempower ourself, whilst we give power to that external authority figure, then of course we are not responsible. We have given the responsibility to that external figure as well. And in that relationship, we become a victim, we become dependent upon that external authority. And if our life is miserable, we simply blame them. This blocks our opportunity to sort out our own life. And it also blocks our ability to grow spiritually. We have boxed ourselves in. We have put ourselves in a cage and given the key to that external authority figure. We are no longer responsible for our own life.

So reclaiming our own power, empowering ourself, reclaiming what is rightfully ours, we also claim responsibility for ourself, for our actions, for the consequences, for our whole life, and how it unfolds. And we need to claim this responsibility. Ironically, we need to claim it fully in order, further down the spiritual path, to surrender this empowerment to existence.

In truth we are not in control of our life. But that's not to say that some external human authority is in control, no. Our life is part of existence, the whole of existence, which is a flow, a dance, a process, a movement. And no human being is in control of it. So in the end, we need to surrender our power. But to do that, first we have to hold that power for ourself. If we've given it to another human being, then we can't surrender in this way. So the first step is to reclaim our responsibility for ourself. Later on, it will be a different story. But whilst we're on the path, this is a critical attitude to develop – self responsibility.

As with other attitudes that I'm talking about in this series, the way to develop self responsibility is to bring awareness to those moments when it's lacking. When do I feel downtrodden? When am I feeling like a victim? When am I feeling oppressed? When am I whinging about what other people are doing to me? These are the situations, the reminders that we need to reclaim our own power. And it doesn't involve doing much.

It's the same with all these attitudes. They are attitudes of mind. They are the flavour that we add to any situation in life, the perspective we put on it, the emotional response we give it. It's internal work, developing this self responsibility.

So when you find yourself wind whinging about what someone else is doing to you – it could be a single individual, it could be an organisation, a government, it doesn't matter – just take a moment, take a few slow deep breaths and see in what ways you do have a choice. For example, let's say you're feeling annoyed by some law. It could be a simple law, perhaps not driving above a certain speed limit. Perhaps you're feeling in a rush and feel that that speed limit is inappropriate. It's annoying, irritating. But you do have a choice in this situation. Firstly, you can choose to break the speed limit. You might get caught, you might get fined, your driving license might be revoked. There might be consequences to breaking that speed limit. But you do have that possibility.

You could also look at the social benefits of that law, for other people, and see that whilst it might be hampering you, it is there in order to safeguard others. There's a positive reason for that law, from a different perspective. You could ask yourself whether you really need to be in such a rush. Why is it annoying you that you have to drive slowly? You could ask yourself, whether you really need to be going anywhere at all. Is this journey really necessary? You could ask yourself whether you could have left a little bit earlier. There are many possibilities, including ultimately, do you want to be a part of this society? Human societies have complex structures and laws. If we were all enlightened beings, probably those laws wouldn't be needed. But that's not the situation we find ourself in. So the rules of society, the structure is needed. We still have a choice. Do I want to be part of this society or not? Any one of us could, in principle, step out of society completely. However, society brings many benefits. It has made life quite secure and safe for most people. It has created amazing opportunities that would not be possible with a purely individual lifestyle. So seeing all the benefits of society, can one decide? Okay I see the benefits, I see the disadvantages, and I decide for myself to participate as a member of society. Then having made that decision to stick with it. It's one's own decision, that's the important point. We are taking responsibility for that decision, ourself, and living with the consequences.

These are the sort of perspectives that one can bring to bear in those moments when one is feeling disempowered or feeling that one has given away one's responsibility for oneself to somebody else. In these ways, we can begin to reclaim our own power, our self responsibility.