non judgemental

In this episode of the attitudes series, I want to talk about being non-judgemental.

Ordinarily, our mind is very judgemental, consciously or unconsciously, we are judging almost everything we perceive; deciding whether it's a threat or an opportunity; labelling it as healthy or unhealthy; seeing it as good or bad. It's very rarely that we are neutral in our mind towards anything, really. It seems to be almost a fundamental character of the human mind to be judgemental. And it has its place. Even on the spiritual journey, there are times when we need discernment.

However, my feeling is that as humans, we've taken this judgementalism to extremes, and it's become unhealthy. So in this episode, I'm suggesting that we try to develop a non judgemental attitude. If we manage this, then, of course, our emotional response to life will be less extreme. It's these good-bad judgements that underlie our anger or our excitement. And whilst living with these passions is exciting, it rather makes it difficult for us to sense and enjoy the subtler aspects of life. And it makes it impossible for us to reside in the more still and calm parts of our consciousness.

So by improving, enhancing, our ability to be non judgemental, we will find that we are living with much more equanimity, both to people around us, but also the happenstances of life. This non-judgemental approach allows deeper, more nuanced emotions to come through. True compassion, for example, does not come from the sort of anger or excitement that the judgemental mind creates. Compassion, a deep compassion, comes through a much more balanced and non-judgemental appreciation of the moment.

And that's just one example of the sort of benefit that non-judgementalism can bring to us. When we are not judging the moment, it allows us to really feel the moment. Conversely, whilst we're judging a moment to be a threat, for example, we will be responding with anger and perhaps the urge to fight or to flee, but not really to stay in the moment and feel it fully. And similarly, when we're judging something to be an opportunity, the mind will be trying to grasp that opportunity. and we will, consciously or not, be trying to manipulate the moment, to suit us, to allow us to gain maximum benefit. And so, just as when we are feeling threatened, when we see an opportunity, our devious mind will actually create a separation between us and the moment as it is. 

Again, it will make it impossible for us to actually feel the moment, to live the moment.

When we adopt a non-judgemental attitude, only then can can we really sit in the moment as it is, without having to change it in any way, without having to reject it, and also without having to grasp it. It's through this equanimity, this non-judgemental approach that we really taste the moment, that we really live the moment.

It's rather difficult to develop a non-judgemental attitude. The first step is to try to notice when you are judging. And you will probably be shocked because most people are judging almost all the time, judging almost everything to be either good or bad. It's everywhere. So it's rather arduous work to begin with, to notice this in oneself. Just by noticing it, being fully aware of the judgemental mind, we already take a lot of energy out of it. And we can also help develop the non-judgemental attitude by deliberately trying to see the opposite viewpoint in every situation. When I notice that I'm judging something to be bad, I can simply look for something good in the situation. There will always be something good. It just takes a different perspective to see it. And similarly, when we are judging something to be good, we can take a moment to see the downside of the situation, the negative side.

With this sort of exercise, this discipline, we can undermine our own judgemental mind. And we will much more naturally become neutral, non-judgemental, and carry a great equanimity. And this equanimity is needed if we are to plunge deeper into our own being, where we will need to face demons and go beyond them, into spaces of great peace and non-doing.